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Jokes

Man 1: My son is not listening to anything I say. 
Man 2: Is he so adamnant? 
Man 1: No, he is deaf.


What do you call a deeply burnt food item in your lunch that is not recogonizable? 
UFO: Unidentified Fried Object. 

Girl 1: Oh I am doomed! That’s my husband coming with my lover! 
Girl 2: I was about to say the same-thing too! 

Man to miser: Why do you always remove the batteries from the clock and keep them outside? 
Miser: I want to extend the battery life and hence I put them in the clock only when I want to see the time. 

Ponderism: 
Before going to sleep you can say Good Night. 
But before waking up can you say Good Morning?
 


Doctor: Have you ever fainted before? 
Patient: Yes, the last time you told me your fees. 

Wife: The doctor has come to see you. 
Husband: Tell him that I am not feeling well and won’t be able to see anyone. 

Patient to his friend: The nurse in this hospital is really wonderful. She touched me and my fever got cured immediately. 
Friend: Yeah, I could hear her touch your cheek in the next room. 


Friend 1: Is it true that your wife talks to herself when she is alone? 
Friend 2: I don’t know. I wasn’t with her when she was alone. 

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