Beta or kuch…?
Bacha: Baba jee AB BHAGOOOOOOOOOO..
Student: Sir, Light Nhi Thi
Teacher: To Mom Batti Jala Lete
Student: Sir, Maachis Nhi Thi
Teacher: Machis Kiun Nai Thi
Student: Pooja Ghar Me Rkhi Thi.
Teacher: To Wahan Se Le Aate
Student: Nahaya Hua Nhi Tha
Teacher: Nahaye Kiun Nhi Thy
Student: Pani Nhi Tha Sir
Teacher: Pani Kiun Nhi Tha?
Student: Sir Motor Nhi Chal Rahi Thi.
Teacher: Ullu K Pathy Motor Kiun Nai Chal Rahi Thi ?
Student: Sir Bataya To Hy Light Nhi Thi
Larkiyaan Bewafaa Nahi Hoti
Wo to majborioon main lipti hain
Apney shiddat bharey khyaloon main
Apney ander chhupi ek aurat main
Wo hamesha hi darti rehti hain
Na to jeeti hain na to marti hain
Larkiyaan bewafaa nahi hoti
Per Hamesha hi darti rehti hain
Apne reeti or rawajoon se
Any waley naye azaboon se
Zardurat main khily ghulaboon se
Pyaar kerti hain or chhupati hain
Larkiyaan Bewafaa nahi hot
Kyuon ki majborioon main lepti hain
Or her lamha darti rehti hain
Apney pyaar se apney saye se
Apney rishton se dil ki dharkan se
Apni khowahish se apni kushioon se
Larkiyaan Bewafaa nahi hoti !!!
jise dekh duniya fida,
jiske har ada hai ekdum juda,,
uske har nakhare sahane padte hai,
wo aap hum nahe bharat ke nanhe bachhe hai
Palkon pe apni bitaya hai tumhe,
Badi duao ke baad paaya hai tumhe,
Itni aasani se nahi mile ho tum
Zoological park se churaya hai tumhe…!!!
Bhehr ki gali main paan ki dukan
Devdas ne dekhi paro ki muskan
Devdas ne khilaya paro ko paan
Khake paan paro bolo “Shukriya Bhai Jan
Raat hote hi ye Dil udaas hota hai,,,,,,,,,,,
Toote khwaboo ke siwa kuch na pass hota hai,
Tumahri yaad aise waqt bohat aati hai
jab uchalta hua koi janwar aas-paas hota hai….
sada khush rho yeh dua hai meri,,,,
Teri premika hi ban jaaye bhabhi teri..
Raanja Heer ke baal pakad ke bola,,,,,,
Moya kitne din se sar nahin dhoya,,,,,,,
Unki Gaali ke chakkar kaat te kaat te,kutte humaare yaar ho gaaye,
Unki Gaali ke chakkar kaat te kaat te,kutte humaare yaar ho gaaye,
Woh to humhe naa mili ,lekin hum kutton ke Sardaar ho gaaye!!!!!!!!!!!!
AAsmaan par kaali ghata chaati to hogi,,,,,,,,
Sitaron mein jagmagahat hotii to hogi.,,,,,,,,,,,
Tum lakh chupao Duniya se, magar akeley mein,
tumhe apni shakal pe muskurahat aati to Hogi..
Uski zulfein hain ya ghana andhera ,,,,,,,,
aye zaalim Katwa de baal, aur kar de savera
Aye Mere Dost Mere Chale Jaane Key Baad Aansu Na Bahana…
Agar Meri Yaad Aaye to Sidhe Upar Chaley Aana……………
Hamne socha tha har modh par tumhara saath denge,
Hamne socha tha har modh par tumhara saath denge,
par kya kare kambakhat sadak hi sidhi nikli ………….
arz kiya hai………
khud ko kar buland itna ki zamaana ho deewana,
khud ko kar buland itna ki zamaana ho deewana ,
neend se utha to paaya kutton ka dawaakhaana,
Mein us ke liye kitni mohabat se Prince biscuit le kar gaya faraz..
Woh kambakht boli: Pyar mohabat se bhi ooper, Peak Freanz sooper..!
peene ka maza cup mein nahin, glass mein hota hai ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
Greeting card dene ka maza gharwali ko nahin, saali ko hota ha
Aakar Dekho To Mujhko
Main SQL PROMPT par rehta Hoon,
Tere LOGIN Ki Chaah Mein Kitne
SCOTT/TIGER Sehtaa Hoon
Tumse mila main kal to,
mere dil mein hua ek SOUND,
Lekin aaj tum mili to
kehti ho: Your FILE not found!
Tumhaara intezaar karte karte,
main so gaya
Yeh dekho mera CONNECTION,
TIME OUT ho gaya
Kab Se BOOT kiye Baithaa Hoon
PC Apne Pyar Ka,
Kaise TYPE Karoon Mein Lekin
PASSWORD Izhaar Ka?
Dil ki Chaaron DRIVES Pe Maine
Jaana Tujhko SEARCH Kiya,
Yahoo!, Yahoo!, Google!, Google!
Kitna Paisa Kharch Kiya.
Tere Chehre Pe Gussay Ka
SCREENSAVER Jab Aata Hai,
Mere Chehre Ka DISPLAY Tab
GREYSCALE Ho Jata Hai
Jinke LINKS Ab Toot Chuke Hai
SHORTCUTS Woh WIPE Karo,
Apni ankhiyon ke BROWSER me
Mera ADDRESS TYPE Karo
Tere ishq ne mujh ko nikamma kar diya
Hara-bhara ped tha, sookha khamba kar diya
Udhaar ki fahrist arey baap re
Dukaan ka bill lamba kar diya
Chal rahi thi khoobsurat zindagi
Tum rahi javaan, mujhko dadda kar diya
Ishq mein yeh anjaam paaya hai
Haath pair toote, muh se khoon aaya hai
Hospital pahonche to nurson ne farmaya
‘Baharon phool barsao……
Kisi ka mehboob aaya hai’
A sardarji photographer is focusing a dead body’s face in a funeral function,
suddenly all dead persons relatives beat him. why? He said “SMILE PLEASE”
woh aaj bhi hamein dekh kar sharmaaye hain,
woh aaj bhi hamein dekh kar sharmaaye hain,
yeh to unke bacche hi kameene hain,
jo mama mama keh kar bulate hain….
sharab sharir ko khatam karti hai
sharab samaj ko khatam karti hai
aao aaj is sharab ko khatam karte hai
ek botal tum khatam karo ek hum khatam karte hai.
Dil mein ek dard liye jiye ja raha hoon,
Teri mohabbat ka jaam piye ja rahan hoon,
Na chahte huye bhi ye kaam kiye jaa raha hoon,
Na jane khud ko kaun si manzil par liye ja raha hoon.
Doodh Mein Uria, Mineral Water Mein Castic Soda,
Pepsi Aur Coke Mein Pesticide, Yani Pani Wani Bhi Kharab,
Ab Hum Kya Kare, Pure Bachi Bhi Hai To Sirf Yeh Sharab..
Botal Chupa dena kafan mein meri
Shamshan mein piya karunga
Jab mangega hisab khuda ;
To use bhi peg bana kar diya karunga?
Tumko dekha to ek khayal aaya,
Tumko dekha to ek khayal aaya,
Tumhari saheli ko dekha to dusra khayal aaya…
# Tere dwar pe sanam hazar baar aayenge,
Tere dwar pe sanam hazar baar aayenge,
Ghanti bajayenge aur bhag jayenge !!
# Na voh inkar karti hai,
na voh iqrar karti hai,
kambakth mere hi sapno main aa kar,
mere dost se pyar karti hai …
Zakhm eitna he intajar kya kare?
Ham khud nishan ban gye he var kya kare?
Mar gaye ham magar khuli rahi aakhe,
Aab eisse jyada uanka inatjar kya kare?
# Kisi se dil na lagana hamesha dard Paoge,
Biti baato ko yaad karke rote jaoge,
Karna hai to gahri karo dosti,
Hamesha ummid se dugna paoge
# Pal do pal me hi milti hai khushi,
Pal do pal me hi milta hai gam,
Par jo har pal sath nibhaye,
Wo dost milte hain kam jaise, ‘U ME aur HUM’..
Meri zindagi per faqat itna ehsan ker do,
Ik benam si mohabbat mere naam kerdo,
Ik subha ko milo aur shaam kerdo,
Aur sham tak mere ghar ka sara kam kerdo.
# Aaj ham hain, Kal hamari yaaden hongi,
Jab hum na honge, Tab hamari baaten hongi.
Kabhi paltoge jindagi ke ye panne,
To shayad aap ki ankhon se bhi barsaten hogi.
# Manzil insan k hausle azmati hai,
Sapno k parde ankho se hatati hai,
Kisi b baat se himat na harna,
Thokar hi insan ko chalana sikhati hai
# Guzar jayenge bin unke bhi achhe wo pal,
Jinhe hum intzar or wo waqt kehte he.
Kya pata kab bhul jaye wo dosti,
Jise hum RISHTA or wo 1 LAFZ kehte hai.
# Savera kya hua, Sitaro ko bhool gaye,
Suraj kya nikla, Chaand ko bhool gaye,
Guzre kya kuch pal aapke bina, Aapko kya laga ham aapko bhool gaye.
Funny Hindi Shayari
Sehmi si nigaho me khawab hum jaga denge… suni si raho me phul hum bicha denge… hamare sang muskura kar toh dekhiye… hum apka har gham bhula denge…
Duniya ka har shauk pala nahi jata, Kaanch ke khilono ko yu uchala nahi jata. Mehnat karne se mushqile ho jati hai aasan, har kaam taqdeer per tala nahi jata!
Jab tumahara dil udaas ho
Humari muskaan ko yaad kar lena
Jab sub saath chod de tera
Humari baahon ko yaad kar lena
This is For You……….Love U A lot……..
Missed call to ek bahana he,
irada to aapka ek lamha churana he,
aap chahe humse baat karo ya na karo,
aap ki yadonme humara ana jana he…
-Raat KE Bina Kabhi Chandani Nahin Aati…., Patjhad Mein Kabhi Bahaar Nahin Aati, KE Jaati Hoon Jab B Khuda KE Dar Par, Tujhe Maangne ke sive Koi Fariyaad nahin Aati….!!
Ahsaan hai tera dil par , ke ishq toone sikhaaya,
Doondha kayi baar dil ko , dariya -e- gum hi paaya
Lutaaya kayi baar is dilko , humne teri khaatir,
Rang teri wafa ka mere , ashko mein nazar aaya
Hoti hai band saanse , na hoga shikva kisiko
Samjhenge wo ke unko, koi khwaab bura aaya
Zindagi Ek Saafar Hain Imtihaanon Ka
Yehan Haar Bhi Hain Aur Jeet Bhi Hain
Zindaagi Ek Phaasana Hain Aashikon Ki
Yehan Milna Bhi Hain Aur Bichadna Bhi..
Dil Ki Nazuk Dhadkano Ko
Mere Sanam Tumne Dhadakna Sikha Diya
Jab Se Mila Hai Tera Pyaar Dil Ko
Gham Mai Bhi Muskurana Sikha Diya
Bola dukaandar ki kyaa chahiye tumhien
Jo bhi kaho ge meri dukaan per wo paoge
Maine kaha ke kutte ke khaane ka cake hai
Bolaa yahin pe khaaoge ya ghar le jaaoge ”
” Apne Aagaaz Se Aaaj tak Zindagi
Teri Hi Yaad Main Gum Rahi
Phir Bhi Jaane Kyon Yeh Ihsaas Hai
Jaise Chaahat Meri Kam Rahi ”
Akash ke taron mein khoya hai jahan saara,
lagta hai pyara ek ek taara.
In taron mein sabse pyara hai ek sitaara,
jo is waqt padh raha hai SMS hamaara ”
” Dil jo dooba aash-ke-gam aankh me machal gaye,
Ek chirag kya bujha saun chirag jal gaye,
Meri unki raah bas itni der ek thi,
Do kadam chale hi the ki raste badal gaye “
” Zindagi nahin humein doston se pyaari,
Doston pe haazir hai jaan hamari,
Aankhon mein hamari aansoo hain to kya,
Jaan se bhi pyaari hai muskaan tumhaari ”
Mitti meri kabar se utha raha hai koi.
Khash khuda do pal ki zindgi aur de de.
Ki meri kabar se udas ja raha hai koi.
Hum to saaya tera ban jayen agar tu chahe
Ya kabhi bhi na nazar aayen, agar tu chahe
Tu jo chahe to sar-e-aam karain ehd-e-wafa
Yoonhi duniya se guzar jaayen agar tu chahe
Tujh se milne mein to jaanan teri ruswaayi hai
Hum teri yaad se mil aayen agar tu chahe
Tu jo keh de to pukaaren sar-e-bazaar tujhe
Ajnabi ban ke guzar jaayen agar tu chahe
Zindagi ji lain agar teri ijaazat mil jaaye
Teri chokhat pe hi mar jaayen agar tu chahe
Tu jo chahe to zamaane ke sitam yunhi sahen
Saari duniya se bhi takraayain agar tu chahe
chal padi hai kashtiyaan samandar, door hai kinaraa
in maajoon se pooch lena, kya haal hai hamara
ab hawaein kareingi, roshiniyon ka faisla
jis diye main jaan hogi, woh diya reh jayega
Guzare Huve Kal Ki Yaad aati hai,
kuch lamhon se aankhen bhar aati hain,
woh subah rangeen shaam nirali doob jati hain,
jab aap jaise doston ki yaad aati hai.
e kaash kahin aisa hota ki do dil hote seene main
ek toot bhi jaata ishq mein to taklif na hoti jeene mein.
Bechara Kuch Is Ada Sey Rukh Hi Badal Gaya
Ek Shaks Sarey Shehar Ko Veeran Kar Gaya
ye zamiiN roii aasmaan ke saath
jab Ramaayan jalii Quraan ke saath
be_zubaaN shakhs likh to saktaa hai
haath bhi kaaT do zabaan ke saath
Tumne apne zulfoN ko is tarah bikhera hai
ek taraf ujaala hai, ek taraf andhera hai
Tum rooh mein shamil ho, Ragon mein rawa ho
Magar mere hathon ki lakeeron mein kahan ho ?
Koi aankhon aankhon se baat kar leta hai
Koi aankhon aankhon mein mulakaat kar leta hai
Bada Mushkil hota hai tab Jawab denA
Jab koi KhamosH rehkar Sawaal kar leta hai
Dil Lagane Se Pehle Iski Sazaa Jaan Lo Yaaron,
Bhari Mehfil Mein Ye Dil Tod Diya Jata Hai,
Dard Ban Jaati Hai Phir Yaad Us Hassena Ki,
Jiski Chahat Mein Ye Dil Deewana Hota Hai.
Ek Naam Kya Likha Tera Saahil Ki Rait Par,
Phir Umar Bhar Hawa Se Meri Dushmani Rahi.
Aise likhne ka bhi kya fayda jo jhuta lage,
Aise rang ka bhi kya fayda jo fika lage,
Shayri woh hai jo dil se nikle, aur jise sunke,
Her dil mein thoda sa to dard jage….
zaalim tha voh aur zulm kii aadat bhi bahut thii
majaboor the hum un se muhabbat bhi bahut thii
wo mere dil ko kuchal ke chali gayi
anjane me mujko shayar bana gayi
ai mere humnashiiN chal kahiiN aur chal
is chaman meiN ab apna guzaara nahiiN
baat hoti guloN tak to seh lete hum
ab to kaaNtoN pe bhi haq hamara nahiiN
humko mita sake ye zamane mein dam nahi
hamse zamana khud hai zamane se hum nahi
Samney hai jo use log bura kehte hain,
Jisko dekha hi nahi usko khuda kehtey hain !
Tere duvar par sanam hazaar baar aayenge,
tere dvar par sanam hazaar baar aayenge,
ganti bajayenge aur bhaag jayenge.,
Har samundar me sahil nahi hota,
her zahaz me misal nahi hote,
agar dhirubhai ka sapna nahi hota to,
her lukkhe ke paas mobile nahi hota.
Log kehte hai pyar mein neend nahi aati
are koi hamse bhi pyar kar lo hame neend bahut aati hai
Kal jab rasthe pe ja raha ta to tumko deka
Kal jab rasthe pe ja raha ta to tumko deka
aur socha tum garse mat niklo, tum ghar se mat niklo,
Agar Nikal gayi to ye bedard zamana kahegi
Who let the dogs out…who who who
Hamaare rishte ko koi naam na do
Tere chaahanewaalon ko ashqon ka inaam na do
Tere saamne khoon se khat likh kar tumhein dikhaadoon
aa bekhabar tujhe parakhne ka andaaz sikhaadoon
tere khoobsoorat aankhon mein aansoo achche nahin lagte
chaahe jitnaa bhi roye but kabhi sachche nahin lagte
Dil Lagane Se Pehle Iski Sazaa Jaan Lo Yaaron,
Bhari Mehfil Mein Ye Dil Tod Diya Jata Hai,
Dard Ban Jaati Hai Phir Yaad Us Hassena Ki,
Jiski Chahat Mein Ye Dil Deewana Hota Hai.
Ek Naam Kya Likha Tera Saahil Ki Rait Par,
Phir Umar Bhar Hawa Se Meri Dushmani Rahi.
Aise likhne ka bhi kya fayda jo jhuta lage,
Aise rang ka bhi kya fayda jo fika lage,
Shayri woh hai jo dil se nikle, aur jise sunke,
Her dil mein thoda sa to dard jage….
zaalim tha voh aur zulm kii aadat bhi bahut thii
majaboor the hum un se muhabbat bhi bahut thii
wo mere dil ko kuchal ke chali gayi
anjane me mujko shayar bana gayi
ai mere humnashiiN chal kahiiN aur chal
is chaman meiN ab apna guzaara nahiiN
baat hoti guloN tak to seh lete hum
ab to kaaNtoN pe bhi haq hamara nahiiN
humko mita sake ye zamane mein dam nahi
hamse zamana khud haim, zamane se hum nahi
Samney hai jo use log bura kehte hain,
Jisko dekha hi nahi usko khuda kehtey hain !
Pyaar ke Funny SMS
wo bola : ‘ main na samjha tha baat itne si
dil hai shishe ka duniya patthar ki’
hamara jawab hai : ‘ e patthar ke sanam chor duniya ka bharam
‘ dil mera to ab tera hai yuh maar na tu tshn’
wo bola
…
tum sher to hum sawa sher
tum sawa sher to hum babbar sher
…
…
hamne kaha
…
hum sher to tum sawa sher
hum sawa sher to tum babbar sher
hum babber shar to tum kya???
bato na!!!
to tum bhiggu billi!!!! hai na…lol
Sardar ji aap ke dadhi
sardar ji aap ke dadhi
jaise bala ki zulfe
uff mrjaawa gud khake
lagti hai baber sher ki muchhe
latak sakte hai inhe pakad do bachhe
is kandhe se us kandhe tak
laherati hain ho ke mast
unme danda bhi gumnaam ho jaye
dil kise ka kho jaye
aisi hai aap ke dadi
aisi hai aap ki muche
dekhke inhe hum to ghabra gaye
hum zara jara sa haans gaye
haay! hum to phas gaye
Yahi to maza hai peene mein
Yahi to maza hai peene mein
yehi to utsukta hai pee ke jeene mein
karo jo chaho tum pee ke duniya mein
dileri kar lo hai dafan jo chah seena mein
Peene mein kya gum hai
Pee ke jeene mein kya gum hai
hum ne pe nahi hui hai to kya
peene ka ehasaas to hamme hai
Lagta ha is sharabi ko aap pahachan na saki
sharabi hum maana, majnoo hum nahi
lagta hai aap abhi bhi hamme samajh na saki
majnoo hai apne hazzar per mein kisi ke laila nahi
Dosti ka nasha kaam nahi hota peene se
Hota hai Jeene ka Maza duna peene se
aaj milke pete hai hum dost yaha
mahafil ka rang duna hota hai peene se