Category: Indian funny sms and sayari

Zoron ki baarish Makes me wonder
Is this what they call, Taste the thunder?

mujh tak kab un kii bazm me.n aataa thaa daur-e-jaam
saaqii ne kuchh milaa na diyaa ho sharaab mein

baat karanii mujhe mushkil kabhii aisii to na thii
jaisii ab hai terii mahafil kabhii aisii to na thi

baaG kis kaam kaa jis me.n gulo.n ko shamshaad na ho
lutf detii nahii.n be-shiishaa-o-saaGar mahafil

khoobsoorat ho tum kisi phool ki tarah…
aankhein hain tumhari kisi hirni ki tarah..

chahek hai tum mein kisi chidiya ki…
mehek hai tum mein kisi gulaab ki…

mahafil se uTh jaane vaalo tum logo.n par kyaa ilzaam
tum aabaad gharo.n ke vasii mai.n aavaaraa au badanaam

Chandani Mohabbat
Chandani Chand se hoti hai, setaron se nehi,
mohabbat ek se hoti hai hazaron se nehi

chadani chand se hogi to sitaron kya hoga,
mohabbat ek se hogi to hazaron ka kya hoga

chadani chand se hogi to sitaron kuch na hoga,
mohabbat hazaron se hogi to AIDS hoga

Tumko dekha to yeh khayaal aaya
Ki kal raat ko maine itna kyon khaaya

Teri zulfein hain ya ghana andhera
Katwa de baal, aur kar de savera

Juice peene ka maza cup mein nahin, glass mein hota hai
Greeting card dene ka maza gharwali ko nahin, saali ko hota hai

Machal Machal kar arman mere khud hi dafan ho jate hai,
Jis dhage ki mai janib hun,Are, Vo dhage hi kafan ho jate hai!!!

Mita de apni Husti ko Agar doh Martba Chahe…..
Ke Dana Khak may Milkar Gul-e-gulzar hota hay.

a mosquito falls in love with a hen.

one day they kiss each other

The hen dies of malaria and mosquito dies of bird flu.

Moral: True love might never die but lovers like these die a horrible death 😀

seller: yeh bakra 20000 ka
yeh 10000
yeh 5000
or woh wala sirf 500 rupee.
custmr: 500 ka kyun hai?
seller: china ka hai, koi guarantee naheen ghar jaa k bhonkna shuru ker dai

Allama iqbal bethey naddi key kinarey

bachon ney un ko pathar marey

Iqbal ney farmaya:

falak key sitaro, zameen ki baharo

khotey de putro, battey to na maro

Bob Smith, my assistant programmer, can always be found
hard at work in his cubicle. Bob works independently, without
wasting company time talking to colleagues. Bob never
thinks twice about assisting fellow employees, and he always
finishes given assignments on time. Often Bob takes extended
measures to complete his work, sometimes skipping coffee
breaks. Bob is a dedicated individual who has absolutely no
vanity in spite of his high accomplishments and profound
knowledge in his field. I firmly believe that Bob can be
classed as a high-s employee, the type which cannot be
dispensed with. Consequently, I duly recommend that Bob be
promoted to executive management, and a proposal will be
sent away as soon as possible.

1 larke ko kia chahiye? 1 larki jo pyar de, 1 larki jo acha khana banaye, 1 larki jo uski khoob khidmat kare, OR wo teeno larkian mil jul kar saath rahen…..

Police Officer to Son: Tumhara Result acha naheen aaya, aaj sey tumhara khelna or tv dekhna band.

Son: Yeh pakro 50 rupey or is ko yaheen daba do

how to stop an elephant from going through eye of a needle?

Tie a knot in his tail

malka sharawat gives handkerchief to tailor and asks him to stich 5 dresses

Tailor replies: What to do with remaining cloth?

Wada kero per nibhana sikho
Chahat dil mein rakho per jitna sikho
U hi kisi ko intizar na karvao
Koi ager pyar se SMS kare to jawab dena sikho

Aj rotha howa 1 shaks both yad aya

Acha guzra howa kuch waqt bohut yaad aya

Jo mery dard ko seenay mein chupa leta tha

Aj jab dard hua to bohut yad aya.

Hansi ne labon pe ana choor dia hai,
Khawabo ne palkon pe ana choor dia hai
Aati nahi hain tab se hichkiyaan bhi
Aap ne jab se yaad karna choor dia hai.

Pyar ankon se jataya to bura man gae

Hale dil humne sunaya to bura man gae

Wo to har roz rulaate the humen

Hum ne ek roz rulaya to bura man gae.

zulf rukh say hatta k bat karo
raat ko din bana k bat karo
ashianay k charagh madhum hain tum zara
aankhain uttha k baat karo koi taza fareb
danain ko tum zara muskara k baat karo
yeh bhi andazay guftagu hai koi jab karo dil dukha k bat karo.

why is honey scarce in brazil?

Because Brazil has only one B

what gets into the house through a keyhole?

A key ofcourse!

what do you get when you cross king kong with a bell?

ding dong king kong

Wife: i had to marry you to find out how stupid you are.

Husband: You should have known the minute I asked you to marry me

Sardar was busy removing a wheel from his auto.

A man asks sardar why are you removing a wheel from your auto.

Amitabh: Thank you for calling customer care… rishte mein to hum tumhare baap lagate hian filhaal ek customer care hain…

Customer: (angrily) I NEED YOUR MANAGER

Amitabh: Jaao pehle uske manager ko laao jisne mere baap ko chor kaha tha.. Jaao pehle uske manager ko laao jisne meri maa ko gaali dekar naukri se nikaal diya tha.. Jaao pehle uske manager ko laao jisne mere haath pe yeh likh diya tha… uske baad uske baad mere bhai.. Tum jis manager ko kahoge main laaonga.

1 girl ask 2 pappu : woh kia hai jo cow k paas 4 or mere paas 2 hain?
pappu : legs
Girl : woh kia hai jo tumhari pant main hai aur meri pant mein nahi hai?
pappu: paisay
Girl : woh kia hai jo log din main karne k bajaye ko raat bistar pe kartay hain
pappu: neend puri karte hain
girl : woh kia hai jo larki pehli daffa karwate huye pain
ki wajah se roti hai?
pappu : kaan main ched
MORAL : aap bhi apni zehniat pappu ki tarhan saaf rakhain

A:Hasta luego
B: Whats that?
A: GoodBye in Spanish.
B: Poison!
A: Whats that?
B: Goodbye in any language!

what did vampire’s mom said to him?

Shut up and drink ur soup before it clots

her koi ker raha hai arman phudi ka
phudi pe mar raha hai insaan phudi ka
phudi bhi rabar ka lun bhi rabar ka

Ye3 Sookha andar jatga hai, or geela bahar ata hai.
andar daal k hilao tu apna asar dekha k ye bay jaan sa bahar ata
hai, ye kuch or nhi tapal tea bags hai.

“motiyan, bela, phool, kaliyan,
dekho yaroo shad hain na,
aj tumhari salgirah hai,
dekhoo ham ko yaad hai na!”

A Birthday is A Million Moments, Each holding A Promise Of Fulfillment Of UR Dreams, & ACCOMPLISHMENTS Of Some Special Plans.. Wish U A Very Happy B’DAy

Johnny, George, and Bert were driving along in their pickup when they saw a sheep caught in the fence with its hind end up in the air.

Bert said, “I wish that was Sharon Stone.”

George echoed, “I wish it was Demi Moore.”

Little Johnny sighed, “I wish it was dark . . . “

what do you get if you cross a sheep and an octopus?

A sweater with 8 sleeves!

A Birthday is A Million Moments, Each holding A Promise Of Fulfillment Of UR Dreams, & ACCOMPLISHMENTS Of Some Special Plans.. Wish U A Very Happy B’DAy

what do you get if you cross a sheep and an octopus?

A sweater with 8 sleeves!

Whats the difference between someone who has been bitten by a mosquito and a 100 meter athlete about to start a race?

One is going to itch, the other is itching to go!

whats the best time to pick apples?

When the farmer’s dog is tied up!

aisi apni wife ho
5.5 jiski hight ho
jeans jiski tight ho
chehra jiska bright ho
waight main thori light ho
umer main diffrence slight ho
thori se woh quite ho
too mamorable her ek night ho
aisi apni wife ho
sarak per sub kaheen
kia cute hey
bheer main sub kaheen
pakistan ki paidaish ho
beauty multyply by twice ho
favorite color white ho
make up thora light ho
zulfain dynamite hoon
aankheen us ki jaisey sunny twilight ho
hoonton ko dekh ker lagey
jaisey coke diet ho
jub sari pehan ker nikley
to kia sight ho
aisa lagey jaisey swtizerland ki flight ho
aisi apni wife ho
agar aisi apni wife ho
tu kia haseen life ho

When U were a baby, U played with toys.
Now U are a lady and U play with boys!!

Musharraf said to his mother. Ammi mari B.V , M.M.A walon
sey meli hoi hai! Jab bhe kamray main jata hoon kehti hai
wardi utaro

Bacha apni Ami se : Ami kal papa ne apni kaam wali nukrani
ko drawing room k sofe par lita ker

Maa: bus bus apne papa k saamne batana

bache ka baap aaya to Maa: haan beta kia hoa tha?

Bacha:kal papa apni naukrani ko drawing room k sofe par lita
k jo muneeb uncle aap k saath karte hain wo kar rahe the

Ye3 Sookha andar jatga hai, or geela bahar ata hai.
andar daal k hilao tu apna asar dekha k ye bay jaan sa bahar ata
hai, ye kuch or nhi tapal tea bags hai.

Bache k peda hone per bache ki dadi : lanat hai bahu…
8 saal main sirf ek hi bacha peda kia ?

Bahu : agar aap k bete k aasrey per rehti to ye bhi nahi hota

Baap bete se : Qutub minar kaha hai??
Beta : Pata nahi
Baap :Kabhi ghar se nikla karo!!
Beta : Ram Lal kon hai?
Baap : Pata nahi
Beta : Kabhi ghar me raha karo!!

BREAKING NEWZ :
GIRLZ HOSTEL main kal agg lag gai
Raat gaye fire bridge ka amlay nay agg pay qaboo pa la
MAGAR amlay per qaboo abhi tak nhi paya ja saka

barrish ho aur zameen gilli na ho,
dhup niklay aur surso pilli na ho,
to phir app nay yeh kasay soch liya kay
neend may ap ki yaad ahay aur shalwar gili na ho..

If u hav 2 eggs between ur 2 legs u r a man
but if u hav 4 eggs between ur 2 legs don”t think
u r a superman someone is F**king u

Patni ne Arz kiya hai ki….
“Zara Dhire se CHODO Sanam,
Mehangai ka Zamana hai..
2 inch ki Chut ko Zindagi Bhar Chalana hai

Girl and boy lost in jungle After two days of struggle
for food and water, girl said-dear plz fuck me.
boy asid: why? girl said: abey kuch to ander jayega.

MADAM said to a naughty boy!
Jab main sakht hoti hon to bohat sakht,
NAram hoti hon to bohat naram,
NAughty boy said !Madam aap to bilkul meri LULLI Jaisee ho..!!!!!!

Sardarni: kal raat 3 chor aaye aur mera rape karke chale gaye.
Sardar: tumne unhe roka nahi?
Sardarni: bahot roka par bole ab aur taakat nahi hai, kal aayenge

Daughter: Mom, kya yeh sach hai ki ladke jahan apna
l*nd dalte hain, bachha wahin se nikalta hai?
Mom: Haan.
Daughter: Oh my god! To kya mera bachha mere muh se niklega?

Sex is like pizza. When its good, its VERY GOOD.
When its bad, its Still pretty good

3 Galz having lunch.
1st said” i saw d condoms in boss drawer.
2nd said: i also saw & punchered them.
3rd Said: HaramZadi pehle batana tha na !!