Category: Indian funny sms and sayari

1) AASMAN ME TUM HO,ZAMIN PE TUM HO,HAWA ME TUM HO,JAHA BHI DEKHO TUM HI TUM HO.

DOMEX WALI AUNTY SAHI KEHTI HAI

“KITAANU” HAR JAGAH HOTE HAI…..

2) Police ko body mili hai,
Kale Dant hai,
Ghosle jaise bal hai,
Shakal paglo vali hai,
Pair ulte hai,
Mujhe tumhari chinta ho rahi hai.
Zara mis cal to do,tasalli ho jayegi.

5) Jab ap paida hue, tab aakash se phul barse, apsharao ne nirtya kiya, ghi ke diye jalaye gaye or Brahmaji bole “Chalo chutkara mila,ab duniya wale
bhugtenge”..

6) Ye pyar bhi ajeeb hota hai,
Maa se ho to mamta,
Pita se ho to kartavya,
Bhai se ho to dharm,
Behen se ho to farz
or
Biwi se ho to

Sonu-Monu

Chotu-Pappu.

7) Jevan k kathin rasto pe kaun apka sath dega? mummy/papa.? Nahi husband/wife. ?Nahi frnds.?Nahi brother/sister. ?Nahi are bhai apki CHAPPAL Or kaun
???

8) Pyar kabhi na karna pardesi se
rote-2 naina thak jayenge.
Pyar karna hamesha padosi se
roz khidki se darshan ho jayenge

9) Ravan-Maai.. Bhiksha de do..
Lady-Yeh lo..
Ravn-Rekha paar karo
Lady cross d line
Ravan-Haha!
Me bhikshuk nahi RAVAN hu
Lady-hehe.Me bhi SEETA nahi kamvali hu..

10) IT tax Officer hass raha tha. Dusara: Kya huva? Pehla:Mallika sherawat ka ITreturn hai Dusara:tho? Pehla: Laundry ka bill 7 lakh bataya hai.

A man walks into a barber shop and asks; “how much for a hair cut?” The barber said $12.50. The man asks; “and how much for a shave?” The barber said $1.50. The man then says SHAVE IT ALL.

A cocky State Highways employee stopped at a farm and talked with an old farmer. He told the farmer, “I need to inspect your farm for a possible new road.”

The old farmer said, “OK, but don’t go in that field.” The Highways employee said, “I have the authority of the State Government to go where I want. See this card? I am allowed to go wherever I wish on farm land.”

So the old farmer went about his farm chores.

Later, he heard loud screams and saw the State Highways employee running for the fence and close behind was the farmer’s prize bull. The bull was madder than a nest full of hornets and the bull was gaining on the employee at every step!!

The old farmer called out, “Show him your card!!”

A woman sadly tells her husband: We will not be together in heaven as we may die at different times my dear.
After a pause her husband replied; my dear that is why the place is known as ‘Heaven’.

Santa: today I made a fool of water?
Banta: how did you do that?
Santa: I heated some water for a bath and bathed with cold water

——–

Santa: My wife is still scared of water
Banta: how come?
Santa: yesterday when i went home,
she was in the bath tub with the security guard!!

———-

Santa to his wife: darling, years ago u had a figure like coke bottle.
Jeeto: yes darling i still do, only differnece is earlier it was 300ml
now it’s 1.5 ltr.

———–

banta: you cheated me.
shopkeeper: no, i sold a good radio to you.
banta: radio label shows made in japan but radio says this is all india
radio!

———–

nurse: congrats santa, you are a father.
santa: don’t tell my wife, i want to surprise her!
————

Everybody was angry with the hike in petrol prices
Santa: Sir, why are you so angry?
Sir: The petrol price is increasing day-by-day, this is not fair.
Santaji, you don’t look worried?
Santa: Why should i worry. For me it is the same price.
Sir: how come?
Santa: Earlier also i filled for Rs 100 now also i fill for rs 100!
Sir: ???????????

1) Go down to c my heart..

Dekha.
Kitna saaf hai mera DIL,
Bole to ekdam Aapke.

Dimag Ki tarah.

2) Santa-pehle me apni biwi ko BA krwaunga fir MA fir Phd krwaunga fir badiya si naukri dilwaunga. Banta- fir acha sa rishta dekh k uski shadi bhi krwa diyo

3) Ek admi aadi raat ko apni moti biwi se bola ki sisak sisak ke marna theek hai ya ek dum. BIWI – Ek dum. Aadmi -To apni dusri tang bhi mujh per rakh do.

4) MAFI NAMA:
Agar
meri
raat
ko
msgs
bhejne
ki
aadat
se
aap
pareshan
hai to
aap
apna
mobile
toilet me fek dena
NA RAHEGA BAS NA BAJEGI BASURI.

5) Chubby Cheeks,
Dimple Chin,
Browny Lips,
tiny eyes&
Rosy Tongue
Actually I ws pointing out d similarities b/w U & vodafone dog.
it’s gr8!
Are u twins?

6) Sabhi jungli janwaro ko suchit kiya jata he ki
–
–
–
–
–
–
–
–
–
–
–
–
–
–
–
–
–
–
–
–
–
–
–
–
–
AAP to aise padh rahe ho, jaise suchna aapke liye ho..

7) Science teacher:agar kisi ladki ko mirgi ka attack ho to use lambe time tak kiss karo isse wo thik ho jayegi. Student:par sir use attack kaise dilaya jaye?.

8) What is the diff. between dava & daru?
Ans: Dava is like girlfriend that comes with expiry date.
Daru is like WIFE, jitni PURANI hogi UTNA sir CHAD ke bolegi…

9) 1 admi ke paas 1 kauwa tha
wo bahut naram-mulayam tha
to aadmi uska naam kya rakhega ?
.@
:-C
:'(
🙂
😉
🙂
My-Crow-Soft !

10) Propose karne ka sher:

Kutta mar gaya rajaai mein,
Main paagal ho gaya teri judaai mein
Haathi nadi mein beh nahin sakta,Apun tere bina reh nahin sakta…

A 5 yr old boy went to visit his grandmother one day. While playing with his toys in her bedroom while Grandma was dusting, he looked up and said, Grandma, how come you dont have a boyfriend?
Grandma replied, Honey, my TV is my boyfriend. I can sit in my
bedroom and watch it all day long.
The TV evangelists keep me company and make me feel so good. The comedies make me laugh. I�m really happy with the TV as my boyfriend. Grandma turned on the TV and the reception was terrible. She started adjusting the knobs, trying to get the picture in focus. Frustrated, she finally started hitting the backside of the
TV, hoping to fix the problem.
The little boy heard the doorbell ring, so he hurried to open the
door, and there stood a man.
The man said, Hello, son, is your grandma home?�
The little boy replied, Yeah, but she is in the bedroom banging her
boyfriend.
Grandma’s minister fainted.