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WORLD’S EASIEST QUIZ

(Passing requires 4 correct answers, no cheating!!)

1) How long did the Hundred Years’ War last?

2) Which country makes Panama hats?

3) From which animal do we get cat gut?

4) In which month do Russians celebrate the October Revolution?

5) What is a camel’s hair brush made of?

6) The Canary Islands in the Pacific are named after what animal?

7) What was King George VI’s first name?

8) What color is a purple finch?

9) Where are Chinese gooseberries from?

10) What is the color of the black box in a commercial airplane?

Remember, you need 4 correct answers to pass.

Check your answers below.

ANSWERS TO THE QUIZ

1) How long did the Hundred Years War last?
116 years

2) Which country makes Panama hats? Ecuador

3) From which animal do we get cat gut? Sheep and Horses
4) In which month do Russians celebrate the October Revolution? November

5) What is a camel’s hair brush made of? Squirrel fur

6) The Canary Islands in the Pacific are named after what animal? Dogs

7) What was King George VI’s first name? Albert

8) What color is a purple finch? Crimson

9) Where are Chinese gooseberries from? New Zealand

10) What is the color of the black box in a commercial airplane? Orange (of course)

Every Action has an equal and an opposite reaction…
Similarly, every proverb has an equal and an opposite proverb!
There always exists two sides of the same coin!
U be the judge…
Contrary Proverbs
All good things come to those who wait.
BUT
Time and tide wait for no man.
The pen is mightier than the sword.
BUT
Actions speak louder than words.
Wise men think alike.
BUT
Fools seldom differ.
The best things in life are free .
BUT
There’s no such thing as a free lunch .
Slow and steady wins the race .
BUT
Time waits for no man.
Look before you leap.
BUT
Strike while the iron is hot .
Do it well, or not at all.
BUT
Half a loaf is better than none.
Birds of a feather flock together.
BUT
Opposites attract.
Don’t cross your bridges before you come to them.
BUT
Forewarned is forearmed.
Doubt is the beginning of wisdom.
BUT
Faith will move mountains.
Great starts make great finishes.
BUT
It ain’t over ’till it’s over.
Practice makes perfect.
BUT
All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy.
Silence is golden.
BUT
The squeaky wheel gets the grease.
You’re never too old to learn.
BUT
You can’t teach an old dog new tricks
What’s good for the goose is good for the gander.
BUT
One man’s meat is another man’s poison.
Absence makes the heart grow fonder.
BUT
Out of sight, out of mind.
Too many cooks spoil the broth.
BUT
Many hands make light work.
Hold fast to the words of your ancestors.
BUT
Wise men make proverbs and fools repeat them.
Don’t get deep into this… context matters…

A Jewish grandma and her grandson are at the beach. He’s playing in the
water, she is standing on the shore not wanting to get her feet wet, when
all of a sudden, a huge wave appears from nowhere and crashes directly onto
the spot where the boy is wading. The water recedes and the boy is no longer
there ..he was swept away.

The grandma holds her hands to the sky, screams and cries: Lord, my GOD, how
could you? Haven’t I been a wonderful grandmother? Haven’t I been a
wonderful mother? Haven’t I kept a kosher home? Haven’t I given to charity?
Haven’t I lit candles every Friday night? Haven’t I tried my very best to
live a life that you would be proud of?

A voice booms from the sky, “All right already!”

A moment later another huge wave appears out of nowhere and crashes on the
beach. As the water recedes, the boy is standing there. He is smiling and
splashing around as if nothing had ever happened.

The voice booms again. “I have returned your grandson. Are you satisfied?”

She responds, “He had a hat.”

PHONE REPAIR

A Kansas farm wife called the local phone company to report her telephone failed to ring when her friends called – and that on the few occasions, when it did ring, her dog always moaned right before the phone rang.

The telephone repairman proceeded to the scene, curious to see this psychic dog or senile lady. He climbed a telephone pole, hooked in his test set, and dialed the subscriber’s house.

The phone didn’t ring right away, but then the dog moaned and the telephone began to ring.

Climbing down from the pole, the telephone repairman found:

1. The dog was tied to the telephone system’s ground wire with a steel chain and collar.

2. The wire connection to the ground rod was loose.

3. The dog was receiving 90 volts of signaling current when the number was called.

4. After a couple of jolts, the dog would start moaning and then urinate.

5. The wet ground would complete the circuit, thus causing the phone to ring.

Which demonstrates that some problems CAN be fixed by pissing and moaning.

Thought you’d like to know.

Country Doctors
A young doctor had moved out to a small community to replace a doctor who was retiring. The older gent suggested the young one accompany him on his rounds so the community could become used to a new doctor.

At the first house a woman complained, “I’ve been a little sick to my stomach.” The older doctor said, “Well, you’ve probably been overdoing the fresh fruit. Why not cut back on the amount you’ve been eating and see if that does the trick?”

As they left the younger man said, “You didn’t even examine that woman. How’d you come to your diagnosis so quickly?”

“I didn’t have to. You noticed I dropped my stethoscope on the floor in there? When I bent over to pick it up, I noticed a half dozen banana peels in the trash. That was what was probably making her sick.”

“Huh,” the younger doctor said, “Pretty clever. I think I’ll try that at the next house.”

Arriving at the next house, they spent several minutes talking with an elderly woman. She complained that she just didn’t have the energy she once did. “I’m feeling terribly run down lately.”

“You’ve probably been doing too much work for the church,” the younger doctor told her. “Perhaps you should cut back a bit and see if that helps.”

As they left, the elder doc said, “Your diagnosis is almost certainly correct, but how did you arrive at it?”

“Well, just like you at the last house, I dropped my stethoscope. When I bent down to retrieve it, I noticed the preacher under the bed.”

Thoughts about Men

Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society.

If the world were a logical place, men would ride side-saddle.

To attract a man, wear a perfume called ‘New Car Interior.’

Women like quiet men because they think they are listening.

On one issue at least, men and women agree; they both distrust women.

The men who try to do something and fail are infinitely better than those who try to do nothing and succeed.

Help a man when he is in trouble and he will remember you when he is in trouble again.

Show me a man with both feet firmly on the ground, and I will see a man who can’t get his pants off!

Don’t kick a man when he’s down unless you’re certain he won’t get up.

Early to rise, early to bed, makes a man healthy but socially dead.

Man who sneezes without tissues takes matters into his own hands. (yuck)

Bachelor: the only man who has never told his wife a lie.

If you never want to see a man again, say, “I love you, I want to marry you, I want to have children.” — they leave skid marks. This works whether a man or woman says it.

There are easier things in life than finding a good man. like Nailing Jello to a tree for instance.

Mankind is stupid. If you forget, they will remind you.

Men are like fish. Neither would get in trouble if they kept their mouths shut.

THE LAWS OF ULTIMATE REALITY

Law of Mechanical Repair
After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch and you’ll have to pee.

Law of Gravity
Any tool, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner.

Law of Probability
The probability of being watched is directly proportional to the stupidity of your act.

Law of Random Numbers
If you dial a wrong number, you never get a busy signal and someone always answers.

Law of the Alibi
If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tire, the very next morning you will have a flat tire..

Variation Law
If you change lines (or traffic lanes), the one you were in will always move faster than the one you are in now (works every time)

Law of the Bath
When the body is fully immersed in water, the telephone rings.

Law of Close Encounters
The probability of meeting someone you know increases dramatically when you are with someone you don’t want to be seen with.

Law of the Result
When you try to prove to someone that a machine won’t work, it will.

Law of Biomechanics
The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reach.

Law of the Theater
At any event, the people whose seats are furthest from the aisle arrive last.

The Starbucks Law
As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee, your boss will ask you to do something which will last until the coffee is cold.

Murphy’s Law of Lockers
If there are only two people in a locker room, they will have adjacent lockers.

Law of Physical Surfaces
The chances of an open-faced jelly sandwich landing face down on a floor covering are directly correlated to the newness and cost of the carpet/rug.

Law of Logical Argument
Anything is possible if you don’t know what you are talking about.

Brown’s Law of Physical Appearance
If the shoe fits, it’s ugly…

Oliver’s Law of Public Speaking
A closed mouth gathers no feet…

Wilson’s Law of Commercial Marketing Strategy
As soon as you find a product that you really like, they will stop making it…

Doctors’ Law
If you don’t feel well, make an appointment to go to the doctor, by the time you get there you’ll feel better. Don’t make an appointment and you’ll stay sick…

A blond is on board a small two- seater plane when suddenly
the pilot dies.
Not knowing how to fly a plane she grabs the
radio.
“Mayday, Mayday! My pilot just died!” she screams.
Ground control receives her call for help and answers back:
“Don’t worry, madam. I’ll talk you down, just do as I say.
First, I need you to give me your height and position.”

“I’m 5 foot 2 and sitting in the front seat!”

Phoolon ki sugandh se sugandhit ho jeevan tumhara
Taron ki chamak se sammilit ho jeevan tumhara
Umr aapki ho suraj jaisi
Yaad rakhe jise hamesha duniya
Janmdin mein aap mehfil sajayein aap aisi
Subh din ye aaye aapke jevan mein hazaar baar
Aur hum aapko Janmdin Mubarak kehte rahein har baar..

kash ke dil yu udas na hota
tumse mil kar yaado mein giraftar na hota
dil mein itna humare pyaar na hota
tumhare liye mann bekrar na hota
tumhae jane ke koyi gam nahi hai
pyaar diya tumne jitna woh kam nahi hai
na jane ankhein kyun nam hain mari
rokna chahoo bhi kud ki rok nahi pati
chehra tumara ankhon mein rehta hai har dam
naam labo par or kehti hai dhadkan
tumara humara kaisa hai bandhan
ajnabi ho tum phir kyun lagte ho mere humdam
na mil kar bhi tumse mil chuki hoo
saath ho kar bhi sabke main tanha hoon rehti
padh kar khat mera rooth na jana
agar thoda sa bhi pyaar ho to laut tum aana